Homeless Interview #21: Ada in Grand Central

 

2017-03-29 Ada in Grand Central

She was in a corner of Grand Central station, right beneath the Apple Store, hidden away in plain sight, packing her things into two shopping carts as commuters made their way to their trains around her.  She said her name was “Ada” and that she was from Cuba and that she didn’t want her photo taken.  She’s one of the dozens of homeless people who choose to stay in Grand Central instead of going to shelters.  

She’s been in New York for four years and had been in the United States for over thirty.  When I asked her what brought her to New York, she talked about a claim she’d made against the government, about boxes with her papers burned, about her property forcibly taken away by dark forces, about appealing to Kofi Annan at the UN.

Her incoherence and talk of conspiracies led me to believe that she was a paranoid schizophrenic.  In other words, she seemed to be one of the 25% of homeless people that were severely mentally ill.  I’m not a professional, of course, so my “diagnosis” can’t be taken seriously.  But I do know this: Ada does not belong in the streets–or in Grand Central.

Homeless Interview #20 : A Kiss for the Reviled

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I saw her from across Fifth Avenue, from behind.  She was sitting on the southwest corner of 52nd and 5th.  As I approached her, I started to see something very wrong: there was an enormous tumor on the right side of her face.  Her sign declared that she had cancer and she was trying to collect money to save her life.  

I have a standard list of questions to get these conversations started.  What is your name?  Where are you from?  How long have you been out here?  What would you like people to know about you?  I did get her name, “Amy”, and she did say she was “hanging in there” but as I was sitting there with her, I was stopped in my tracks, stunned to be in the presence of someone in the direst of needs.

While I was sitting there, a man on a bicycle stopped in front of Amy.  He took out two fresh $20 bills and gave it to her.  He knew her because he had spoken to her before, but she didn’t remember him.  With uncommon warmth he hugged her and kissed her on the cheek as if she were a precious child.

Again, I was stunned, because I had never seen anyone do that before: kiss someone the rest of us revile.  He said his name was “John”.  I asked him why he stopped to help when no one else would even come close to her.  “Because it’s to the poor we owe everything!” he thundered.  I bore the full brunt of his passion.  “The poor are here to teach us how to love!” Over and over he hammered these themes.  The passersby barely noticed.

Whether or not you believe Jesus Christ is a deity, he was clearly a historical figure, flesh and blood, living in Jerusalem at the height of the power of the Roman Empire.  The record does say that he preached love for the miserable and the downtrodden, the sick and the dying.  He wrote no words down, himself, and yet we remember him two thousand years after his time on earth.  What would it have been like to meet him?  As John thundered away with his wild passion, exhorting us to love the poor, I had to wonder if meeting Jesus Christ would have been a similar experience.  In the picture I took it may not be obvious where Amy’s tumor is but here’s how to find it: it is right where John is kissing her.

I asked Amy what I always ask: what would she want people to know about her?  “I wish people wouldn’t judge me,” she said.  “What people do is cruel.  “They treat me like I’m a disease.  They move as far away as possible when they walk on the sidewalk.”

John added that no matter why people are out on the street, whether it’s because of drugs or because they are sick, they are more compassionate than those who aren’t on the street.  I can’t say if that’s true or not, of course, but I have seen a remarkable connection amongst the homeless people I’ve met.  As I’ve noted in past posts, they look out for each other.  I understand now something that baffled me before.  More than once I’ve seen a homeless person accept food they don’t necessarily like or want and then store it in their bags.  I assumed it was just to save it for future use just in case they became severely hungry.  Amy explained the real reason because it’s something she does.  She keeps the food she doesn’t need just in case another homeless person needs it.  She wants to have something to give.

Before John left, he gave Amy another warm hug.  Moved by her story, I came over to her and I hugged her, as well.  I was privileged that she let me.  

Homeless Interview #19: Lucky

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I noticed her sitting on the ground and leaning against the wall of a building on 53rd street because a large police officer (or security guard) was talking to her.  I thought he was going to shoo her away, as was the policy of the NYPD in previous administrations policy of the NYPD in previous administrations.  Instead, he was just checking on her, trying to see if she was okay.  She was an older woman, probably in her fifties, her hair gray and frazzled.  

She said her name was “Karen”.  I asked her if I could sit down next to her and she said it was fine.  I saw her eying the bottles of Gatorade in my bag and I offered her one.  It was the only thing she wanted from me–besides the conversation.

She’d been out on the street since January because of problems she’d had with the shelter system.  I asked her brought her out into the streets and she said that she was an incest survivor and that she had been battling dark, nefarious forces–and lost.

Before I even asked she said, “No pictures!”  but she offered a picture of her one friend, the stuffed Leprechaun she named “Lucky”.  She had lost her cocker spaniel last year, she said, so she got Lucky as a consolation.

What would she want people to know about her, I asked?  She answered, “You need to watch the shelters.  People are being abused.  People need to be housed.”

Homeless Interview #18: Bill Has Hope

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I’m so used to seeing Bill every day as I walk down Lexington Avenue that when I don’t, I worry about him.  It’s been unusually cold in New York, lately, and I hadn’t see him for a while, so when I did, I caught up with him, checking to see if he was all right.

He was in a good mood.  He had just arrived at his usual spot in front of Equinox. He’s working with a counselor with one of the municipal agencies and he had just met with her.  She’s helping him navigate the bureaucracy of services, getting his paperwork in order, so that he can get job.  “I have hope,” he said, explaining to me how close he was to being able to get a job, leave the shelter and get his own place.  Imagining his future brought that smile to his face.

Since I’ve started this series I’ve been asked more than once why “these people” don’t just get a job.  It’s a question I used to ask, myself.  Now I know that the answer is because it’s very hard.  I also now know that they’re all trying very hard to escape.

Bill’s efforts seem to finally be paying off.  His optimism left me hopeful.  Maybe, just maybe, there will be a time when I won’t see him in front of Equinox anymore.  He’ll just be gone.  And I’ll be happy for him.

Homeless Interview #17: Appreciate Your Freedom

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Patrick lost his right leg in Afghanistan while serving with the United States Marine Corps. He had been shot twice with a Kalashnikov and the damage was so severe they had to amputate it. He was out on Fifth Avenue asking for money so that he could save enough to get a prosthetic leg so that he could get a job. He has his construction license and a culinary degree but both professions would require him to stand up.

Patrick had a lot to say. He told me he lost his cash benefits from the military (though he still retained his medical insurance) because he moved to Toronto after he married a Canadian citizen. After four years in Canada, he got deported and can no longer return.  He is still trying to bring his wife here.

For the first time since I’ve started talking to homeless people, someone else stopped to talk to the same person. An older gentleman, a professional, engaged Patrick in a warm conversation, thanked him for his service and then took down his phone number so that he could reach out Patrick so that he could give him a hand. I asked the gentleman, Neil, why he stopped to help. Neil said, “Matthew 25: ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ I stopped to help because Jesus told me to.”

When I asked him what he wanted the people who pass him on the street to know about him he said, “I don’t want them to know me. People don’t even say. ‘boo’. I want them to know that thousands of my brothers have died. Appreciate your freedom.”

Homeless Interview #16: Jeffrey Just Wants Five Guys

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He was standing at the corner of 45th and Lexington, two garbage bags filled with stuff hanging around his neck. He said his name was Jeffrey and that all he wanted was enough money to buy a hamburger. He spoke with a slight British accent and he did, indeed, confirm that he was from the UK.  How he ended up growing up in Newark, I didn’t ask.

He’d been homeless for a year and half.  He had been living with his girlfriend but he said that she threw him out.  He didn’t quite explain why.  Unlike many of the homeless people I’ve met, Jeffrey said he actually liked the shelter system—when he could stay there.  He had been put out, he said, for causing trouble but didn’t specify what kind.  Usually he slept underneath the Triboro Bridge, he said.

He had worked construction and, in fact, here and there he found work.  He was trying to save $300 so he could go upstate to find a job picking apples.  If he made it upstate, in order to work in an orchard, he would probably sleep outside again.

What would he want people to know about him? “I’m poor. I’m trying to get some dough. I need a job. Tell someone I need a job.”

Homeless Interview #15 : I Would Have Finished College

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A few hundred feet away from where the world famous ball drops at the stroke of midnight, I found Barry. He’s a young man, not yet 30, his thick beard belying his age. He’d been out on the street for six months.

He’s from a small town upstate, close to Troy. He had come down to New York because of a job at a restaurant. He was the last one hired so he was the first one let go when the ax fell. He’s been trying to find work ever since. During the weekdays (I met him on a Saturday) he’s on his smartphone, connected to one of the kiosks that provide free wifi, surfing the web, looking for jobs. “I have my resume on Indeed [a job posting site],” he said. So far, no hits.

He had gone to a shelter once and that one time, his stuff was stolen (not the first time I’ve heard this). They’re filthy, he says. He would rather sleep on the street, earn a little bit of money, and then sleep in a cheap hotel one night, then return to the street. Most nights he sleeps in a secluded spot, he said knowingly.

I asked him if he could go back in time and change any of his decisions, would he. “There are so many,” he responded. Can you pick one? I asked. “I would have finished college.”

The best thing that had happened to him was that someone slipped him $100. “What did they say to you when they did?” I asked. They do it when you are sleeping so I never know who it is. “It’s the ones who give you pennies that want something back,” he said. There are people who actually give pennies? He nodded and showed me the special cup he has just for those pennies.

All he wants from God is a job. A job that pays enough. He wants people to know that he’s a normal person and that he’s just trying to go home, back to that little town next to Troy, New York. “People are nice there,” he said.

I showed him pictures of the other people I’d met on the street and he knew a lot of them. “We look out for each other out here,” he said. “If you want more stories, go up and down 42nd street. You’ll find a lot more.” I told him I would return.

Homeless Interview #14 : A Man Has to Keep Going!

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He was smoking a cigarette outside Duane Reade, standing next to a shopping cart filled with used bottles and cans. At first, he wouldn’t give me his name but he was willing to have a conversation.

He collects cans and bottles for a living. The cash he gets from returning them is what he uses to survive. Unlike many of the people I’ve met on the streets, he doesn’t receive any kind of benefit from the government. He also doesn’t like to beg but will accept money if offered to him. “A man has to stand on his own!” he declared. “I don’t like to lean on anybody.” He doesn’t even visit doctors, he said. True to his word, he avoids shelters. Just like Rodney, he went into the subway system to protect himself from the blizzard instead of seeking safety with an institution.

He had worked construction as a young man but no one wants to give him work today because he is too old. He has no friends and no family to speak of. He doesn’t even like to associate with the other homeless people around. “They’re all drug addicts,” he says.

As suspicious as he was when I first arrived, he became voluble as I prepared to leave, probably because this was the first time he had had a conversation in a long time. “My name is Pancho,” he finally revealed. “I’m from Mexico.”

His parting words were words of wisdom: “A man has to keep going!”

Homeless Interview #13 : A Small Miracle of Kindness

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He seemed to be lurking in the Pax Wholesome Foods next to Bryant Park. I saw the cashier eying him suspiciously as he added sugar to his coffee, though he was wasn’t bothering anyone. He wasn’t asking anyone for money or even talking to anyone. He just wanted to have a warm cup of coffee.

The cashier surprised me, however, when she waved the homeless man over and started ladling hot soup into a large cup. I didn’t see the homeless man offer her any money so I offered to pay but with a wan smile the cashier just said, “It’s all right.” Thousands of times a day, all across this City and against its reputation for being harsh, small miracles of kindness like this happen and I had just witnessed one.

I asked him if I could sit with him. He shook my hand, happy enough to talk. He said his name was “Rodney”. He couldn’t tell me exactly how long he’d been on the streets but it had clearly been a long time. He wasn’t exactly all there. He had been evicted but didn’t tell me when and, according to him, no shelter was available. During the blizzard, instead of going to a shelter, he stayed in the subways.

He had been an usher at the AMC theaters two blocks away, he said. He said proudly that he had been there at the opening. The AMC theaters have been there for decades so this was a long time ago. Considering the condition he was in, he must have lost that job a long time ago, as well.

I asked him what he would want from God if He offered to grant Rodney anything. Rodney said, “I hope my cousins are okay.” Are they in trouble, I asked? He said they weren’t, but there’s a lot of pressure on them every day, a comment I didn’t understand. He had asked them for help but they threw him out. “I don’t know why”, Rodney said. “Because of my look?”

He continued, “I can get arrested for looking this!” He pointed to his slippers, he tattered jogging pants and his old jacket. “I’m not dangerous!” In a moment of surprising self-awareness he added, “Anybody wearing this, you don’t know what they’re up to.”

I left him when I had nothing more to ask and when nothing much more to say. He had been out on the street too long. He had been alone too long.

Homeless Interview #12 : Stolen Paperwork

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Chris is the second Army veteran I’ve met out on the street. He was sitting in front of Saks Fifth Avenue, fifty feet away from St. Patrick’s Cathedral. The flag you see in the picture extends from the front of the church. He was wearing a large crucifix so I asked him if he was Catholic and when he said he was, I asked him if he’d ever been inside the Cathedral. “I go in there at least four times a week to pray.”

He’s been homeless for a year and half. He had been working construction, hanging dry wall in New Jersey. He got laid off. He couldn’t pay his mortgage so his house was foreclosed. He lived in a Motel 8 for a few months until his money ran out. He’s been looking for steady work but his paperwork–birth certificate, social security card, identification–had been stolen and without the paperwork, it was difficult for him to find legitimate work. He mentioned that Caitlin from Breaking Ground was helping him to get his papers, the same woman who was helping Nicky.

He did not indicate anywhere on his sign that he had served in the military. I found out in the course of conversation that he was in the Army for a year, stationed at Fort McClellan in Alabama. I asked him why he joined. He said, “I was young. They offered me the world. They got their hooks into me.”

I asked him what he would want from God if God offered him anything he wanted. “To have a home and to be with my family, my mom and my three kids.” His family is in New Jersey. I asked him if they were fine and he said they were. I didn’t ask him why he didn’t just ask them for help or stay with him. I should have. He’s not the first person I’ve encountered out here who has family somewhere else. I don’t know why they don’t ask for help but I can imagine more than a few reasons. Perhaps the relationship had frayed so badly that the street was a better alternative. Or perhaps it is shame.

I asked him what he would want people to know about him. He answered, “I’m just like everyone else. I’m a decent human being. Just because something bad has happened to me doesn’t mean I’m a bad person.” To a person all the people I’ve asked this question want to emphasize that they are good people. They must think that many of the people who see them begging on the streets are judging them and condemning them, holding them in contempt. Are they wrong?